March 10 2O14

It has been nine days since we last held hands.

Wow. I seriously counted that. 

I mean, holding hands has been our thing since Valentine's day. It feels safe and really nice holding each others' hands like we did not care about how others thought about us or anything. It was how we expressed our feelings for each other.

It's different when we hold hands. It's not just the mere act of it but for me it is so much more. It's being proud that you are with that person, it signifies how much you value the person you are with that you would want them in your life. It somehow signifies possession that she is yours and the other way around. It signifies love in so many ways. It's as if everything fits perfectly whenever your hands meet and interlocks. Isn't? And the feeling you get whenever you hold hands with someone. It's as if it were the first time all the time. Butterflies suddenly flutters in your tummy, your heart starts to race, your eyes starting to glitter and your cheeks flushed with color.

I miss this. I miss the sweet side of him. I miss the caring him. I miss the real talks. I miss the kilig he makes me feel. I miss the effort he puts into things. I miss being the attraction of his eyes whenever I am mixed within a crowd. I miss his voice that assures if I am okay. I miss the hands that used to hang on my back. I miss the fingers that gives warmth to mine.

All I want in a relationship is honesty, trust, love and consistency. Without these things, you would slowly lose me. I believe in the saying that if you want someone to stay in your life, you have to make an effort to make them stay. Do not take them for granted nor forsake them. Remind them that they are loved and make them feel cherished, for when they leave, the fault would be on your side. You did not give them enough will to stay. Despite the safety I give to people, do not ever take me for granted. Not because you'd get the assurance from me that I wouldn't leave, I eventually will if you do not take care of me. Never be complacent with the person you love.

I have a long stream of patience and a height of understanding but do not ever push me to that limit. I will become used to it, numb and eventually I will have the strength to say no, to say that this is enough and I WILL leave. 

Please. I am giving him seven days to realize his mistakes. I hope he does. I will just reciprocate how he would treat me as of now and I just hope that he would become sensitive enough to feel that I want more. That I NEED to feel that he does care for me and that he would change his ways to make me stay and to keep me with him.

All I need is the feeling of being cherished every moment that you can and I hope this is not too much to ask.

I hope and all I can do is to hope.