March 22nd 2O14

I've been hurt before and I'm hurting again because of love.

Love makes you foolish. Love makes you stupid. Love makes you do reckless things. Loves doesn't let you think of the actions you did before you do them. Love makes you blind. Love brings out things in you that you never expected from you. Love makes you happy too. Love makes cherishes you. Love makes you feel cared for. Love makes you chase for what you want. Love makes you need. Love makes you whole.

Love isn't always supposed to be happy. There will always be arguements, misunderstandings, problems and hurting. But at the end of the day, these things happen because you love and because you are loved.

Today, I cried so much I thought I was going to suffocate and just fully break down. Thank God I didn't. I just cried my heart out.

It hurts that he just left. I mean yes he spoke telling me "Tin, submit ko lang yung project then dorm para gumawa ng project. INGAT" and said goodbye to everyone. And I couldn't look at him. I really couldn't. When he was leaving I just started to cry. I cried and I cried and I cried. He even came back to where we were to say good bye again and I was just there facing my back on the door and to him just crying. He didn't even realize that I was crying. He just said goodbye once again and just left. It hurts that he didn't do anything. That he didn't even talk talk to me. I was expecting he would. I wanted him to but he didn't.

I was left with my friends them just being there for me and I appreciated it so much. I am thankful for having them. Den left so it was just me, Clark and Bogs. Then Heart came. 

I wanted to go home so bad so they hailed me a cab to Magnolia so I could meet my mom half way. When I got in the cab, I just felt so alone and thought about the hurt and I cried again. I pulled myself together as we approached the mall. I got down and just walked around, ate ice cream and bought chips and H2O. My mom then fetched me. Went to facial and got home. I just changed, wrapped myself in my blanket and just watched movies and slept. 

So much feels. So much expectations and I shouldn't have. It felt so hard on me that everything is like this. How much hints I gave but he just wasted everything. He is WASTING time, efforts, the chance and just everything.