First Move, Check

Suddenly we were under one roof three four days ago. Rewind though....

We suddenly had a long weekend due to holidays and so our church friend decided to throw a long weekend pool party just to celebrate the long weekend and to have fun. So my little brother and I decided to go but then we wanted Cronuts so we went pick up some first and had dinner out. I was like okay let's ust dress up semi-pambahay super casual like I have no fucking care who sees me haha So I just pulled on a grey statement vneck and a pair of black shorts and black slippers and I was out! So were were finished with dinner and that was around seven thirty and we were kinda late already but what the its a party! So while we were getting the bill someone texted me and I was like who could this be and it was HIM. IT. WAS. HIM. MY HANDS SERIOUSLY SHOOK, MY HEART JUST BEATED CONTINUOUSLY AND STRONGLY, MY MIND WAS ON A HIATUS!!!! Holy fucking shit I look like crap and HE ASKED ME IF I WAS GOING TONIGHT AND I WAS LIKE FUUUUUUUCK WHAT DO I REPLY I NEED TO GO HOME AND CHANGE AND LOOK ABSOLUTELY HOT AND AMAZING BUT BUT BUT NO ONE COULD BRING ME HOME TO CHANGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WAS SUPER ON PANIC MODE BECAUSE HE WAS GOING HE WAS GOING AND THE FACT THAT HE TEXTED ME?!!!!!!!! I was soooooooooooooooo nervous. Ok. So I told him I was going and I asked him if he was and obviously he was too and he told me that HE HAD SOMETHING TO SAY THAT WOULD CHANGE EVERYTHING AND CLEAR THINGS UP OMG I WAS LIKE FUUUUUUUUUUCK FUUUUUCK KILL ME I DON'T WANNA GO ANYMORE HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA BUT OF COURSE I REALLY WANTED TO BECAUSE I NEEDE AND WANTED TO HEAR WHAT HE HAD TO SAY. I WAS WEAK IN THE KNEES, MY CHEST WAS GIVING UP ON ME AND JUST MY WHOLE SYSTEM STARTED TO LOOSEN BECAUSE I WAS SOOOOOO NERVOUS. MY HEART KEPT ON BEATING AND I JUST COULDN'T HANDLE US FINALLY SEEING EACH OTHER!!!!! But okay no choice I can not back out and I can't not go and not hear what he has to say right? So okay we went there.

He didn't reply to my text anymore cause my phone effing broke just my luck huh? So okay. I was there and I didn't know where he was. I was hoping he wasn't there yet. So when I entered the house he was nowhere to be found. So okay I could breathe again!!! Coast clear! So got to talk to people and  I had to per badly and I thought okay I'll fix myself in the bathroom. The restroom was located underneath the staircase so I was walking towards the door and someone suddenly came down from the stairs and of course I looked and IT. WAS. HIM. I SMILED AT HIM BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO AND I JUST WALKED FASTER AND LOCKED MYSELF INSIDE THE RESTROOM. HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAA. AND WHEN I WENT INSIDE OMG OMG OMG HE'S ALREADY HERE FUCK IT. OK HE ALREADY SAW ME I CAN'T HIDE ANYMORE BUT I WILL DEFINITELY NOT APPROACH HIM FIRST HE HAS TO APPROACH ME FIRST LIKE WTF YOU TALK TO ME NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. SO OKAY WE WERE KINDA SEPARATED BUT HE KEPT ON LOOKING AT ME AND DEEP INSIDE THAT FELT REALLY NICE like wow he wants to talk to me and see me hihihihi. I'm really easy to please, to make happy and all that. I'm a softy inside ok going back!!!! Everyone swan already and I was like oh no no spare clothes but wth let's go swim!! *sings Icons Pop* I don't care I love it! :))) 

Okay I am too pumped well going back so my little brother decided to pass by home to g us towels and clothes and so I went on and swam. I started on by the steps and I kinda stayed there and he came towards me and he kinda talked to me. He asked if I wanted to talk and I'm like yeah. And he was still kinda acting stupid and saying bull cause all he did was ask. He asked me if I was still confused, if it was the same questions, if I'm still mad and all that but I told him I wasn't and that I still had the same questions in mind. So I went first by asking you guys are technically still together so what am I and he suddenly said that he broke it off last night. And I was like HALLELUJAH HE BROKE UP WITH HER FINALLY FINALLY BUT AS IF ITS GONNA CHANGE A LOT????? Well it did okay. So that was kinda it. And he said that if I'm still mad just let it out and I was like that was one time I said all that I had to say and he finally told me what his concrete plans are and how he wanted us to be. He told me that he wants to make it up to me, to make things better and for us to be how we were before all these problems and quarreling came up and that kinda satisfied me already and after that we acted okay. He held my hands often which made me smile a lot but he was still kinda "ashamed" and showing PDA towards everyone which in my part I think I should understand. Other than that it went pretty okay :) so I'm kinda happy with that I guess.

So after that night we didn't text as much because he said he was busy. Like really busy and I guess I have to kinda understand that I guess. And I kinda always text first nowadays but I think I have to stop. I don't know if he needs space or what but that's the only problem. He doesn't share how he feels still. He made the first right move by finally breaking it off with her. At least his problem with her is done and it kinda gave sense to whatever we are right? I'm not the third party anymore but I may be called the reason why he broke it off with his ex girlfriend right? :) So I am kinda happy with that but he is distant. I'm not really sure if he's just busy or he just is still distant or maybe he just find this awkward? Here we go again with the MAYBES and WHAT IFS. 

And the thing is it's his birthday tomorrow. I wantED to do something special for him  but I guess plans backfire all the time. I guess I shouldn't do anything special but I still want to make him feel special so I'll try with words and by greeting him at exactly twelve midnight later :) I just hope he feels that I'm serious with this. He had made me feel happy and special and I want to try and make this work. I mean there's nothing to lose. We could always just try and put effort into it but if it doesn't we can always remain friends. What's there to lose?