Turning Tables

Tables have turned after those exchange if words.

It is always good to end the day with  happiness and have everything patched up.

It has been a rough morning with the father but I just brith out the perkiness in me and the shared the love to be able to bring all as one. Embracing each other was glorious. It felt whole. And after that my dad kinda teared up and I told him that I was sorry and that I love him and it felt good and I know he felt the same way. I love my dad despite everything. I'm just too self centered to think about his cause which is all for us, to be better people morally upright, wise and responsible and most especially ready for the future and all those decision makings. He does not want us to stray from the right oath but rather stay on it. There might be side tracks which are inevitable but with those side tracks I would take and have taken, I have been able to pick up a couple of lessons that had helped in my upbringing. 

I am just truly thankful that we've patched up. I am thankful for my loving and most caring father who has taught me everything that I know right now. I now he is not that pleased enough with me but I do hope that I would be able to live up to his expectations and make him proud once again. 

It Kills

Yes, it truly kills me to see firstly my mother crying, my father not communing, my little brother crying, my sister mad and my oldest brother just being him distant.

Today, I just witnessed his my little brother was torn because of our father. And I must say that I have cried over a hundred times because of how truly hurtful my father's words are and how he treats me and actually all of us. I do love my father that's for sure but most of the time, he's just really hurtful. I'm not sure if he's teaching us how to be strong or what, but whatever he's doing is not really working to make us stronger. I know he wants us to be the best that we can, to grow up morally and to be wise as he is to be able to make the right decisions and do the just things but his ways are, I may say, overboard. He hurts in order to teach. But can't he teach without hurting? There are gazillions of right ways to do it why not choose among those over the million of wrong ways to do so right?

When my little brother suddenly broke down in tears, I was so torn. He is such a strong boy, or should I say a strong man and definitely wiser than I am, but at that moment, he was suddenly a different person for he cried in front of me and all I could do was tap his back, embrace him and tell him to just breathe. I have been what he has been through and I definitely know the feeling. That exact hurt he felt, I still feel it. We love our father so much that we would sacrifice our life but this treachery if I may call it is just wrong. He is it the perfect father as he says and as his children we should understand but there is no going back in time when we haven't felt that certain hurt like do you even seriously love us? Cause if you do hurting us would not be your ways. We now envy the families of our friends whom we see are so happy. Like legit happy that you could not imagine them fighting, getting mad at each other or hidden desires to hurt one another and how we wish that we could be like them. That we could be whole. No gaps, no secrets, no negativities whatsoever. And I just hope and am praying that one day, we would reach that point of pure happiness. We should NOT wait for someone to be lost before things turn around right? Why not just make the most of the time that we have for each other and just be loving to one another, set aside all hate and just LOVE.

I still believe that one day, we would be in that state, but as of now, I guess we should all just suck it up, pretend a little and appreciate the tiniest bit of happiness even if it's not within all of us that we share our love. Smile towards everyone inspite of the silence breathing in the room and just try reaching out and conveying what you want to commune to ignite that feeling.

Just for a Day of Pure Bliss

Rewind back to Sunday October twenty-seventh two thousand and thirteen:

Sacrificing a couple just to have the night you've yearned for, a night of pure happiness.

It has been a long time since I have spent a solid day with my friends that day, I finally had it. And I must say, it was all worth it. Spending my Sunday with the few people whom I've just known for barely a year has been wonderful beyond words. The joy I felt, the togetherness, the excitement the thrill and everything in between. It wasn't just all that though. It was duties at first but the after part was amaze balls!

The day started out with our Parish Youth Central meeting at our friend's house, turned to lunch with everyone then off to ours kid's mass and afterward back to the Gabriel's crib! That Sunday was their village's Halloween Trick or Treatin' so I gave out the candies and saw those cute kids in their costumes and all. After that we just hung out in their entertainment room and played PS3. Everyone was just so pumped and trash talking like there's no tomorrow and we were all just enjoying so so much! Like too much haha! And I don't  know that day just bonded us to each other like we got to know more about one another so that was really great. I must admit I was not close to most of the people in the central but after that day, it was really awesome. 

And then came dinner where we all are pasta and cinnamon rolls which were absolutely delicious! And came the movies conversation. Like what's your favorite television show, movie starting from the nineties to the twentieth century. Oh how it was so good to reminisce the days where good cartoons were still aired, legit anime series (which I must say aren't jejemon) were still on and all that good times. We even thought about the theme songs to those series! I was like what's that song for One Tree Hill? The one that Gavin deGraw sang? And we were suddenly singing: I don't wanna be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately. All I have to do is to be me lalalalalaaaaaa and we were totally adorable!!

After our glorious feast we popped some popcorn in the microwave and started on with our first film... Sinister. It was soooooo cold and just dark everywhere. We were just sitting everywhere, each with a pillow and blankets and we even made jokes of some of the horror scenes in the movie which was adorbs haha!! Gab was like that sounded wrong (inset green minded look here) and we'd all laugh and forget how scared we were haha. 

On to our next film: The Conjuring. Ok I must admit I was freaking scared!! Like WHATDAPAK. But what Gab said was true that it was actually interesting that you'd want to research about it. The Conjuring was based on true events so right? Who would not become interested about it right? But sadly we were not able to finish the film since my dad was like mad and all that typical-angry-father-go-home-now thingy. So we had to leave and not finish the film. How sad we did not finish but golly how fun that whole day was!

Spending thirteen full hours with one another was not enough at all! It's like we're family hehe. I hope we'd have part two next time! At our crib naman and we'll try to be great hosts hehe. Hopefully during my birthday I can create a little get together to celebrate my birthday cause they truly are amazing people whom I want to be surrounded with. 

I thank You for blessing me with such amazing people and keeping them around me. 

Present: China, Carlo, Gio, Mike, Jason, Gab, Matt, Aira, Fred & Alma

Vaguely Asked Qs...

... Which deserves answers. So here we go!

1. Are looks important in a relationship?

Not really but I kinda look at someone's appearance before getting into a relationship so I guess it's pretty relevant yet not that important.

2. Are relationships ever worth it?

They are especially if they are with you're family and true friends and of course with a spouse: if you think you're working it out with the person you are going to marry and spend your lifetime with

3. Are you a virgin?

My mind isn't haha!

4. Are you in a relationship?

Nopes

5. Are you in love?

Nah

6. Are you single this year?

Yes!

7. Can you commit to one person?

Of course

8. Describe your crush

Hmmm... No crush?

9. Describe your perfect mate

Handsome, a gentleman, kind, loving, loyal, thoughtful, caring, giving, sweet, funny, exciting, unexpected, fun, adventurous, intelligent, wise, talented & understanding :)

10. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Yes I do especially after watching Wicker Park (which I just watched six hours ago)

11. Do you ever want to get married?

Sure. Why not? 

12. Do you forgive betrayal?

I did 

13. Do you get jealous easily?

Kinda especially if I love the person

14. Do you have a crush on anyone?

No?

15. Do you have any piercings?

Besides from the usual ear piercings nope!

16. Do you have any tattoos?

None

17. Do you like kissing in public?

Keri lang :))

20. Do you shower every day?

Heck yeah! I love cold cold showers!

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

Someone just admitted to me that they do

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

Yes

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

Done that so yes.

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

Noooooooooo

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?

Not that I want but I am ready if ever a likable person comes into my life before the year end which is just two months to go!

26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

Yes. It felt good but so much druh-mah!

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?

Yes. And it goes like this:
" 'Cause girl I want to know that what I'm feeling is one heck of a show
I think I'm falling in love and I'm glad they've sent you from up above
And when I'm given the chance to love you right
I'll give it all with all of my might
Give it all
Give it all with my heart... "

28. Have you ever been cheated on?

Sad to say yes.

29. Have you ever cheated on someone?

Sortov

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?

LIPO SUCTION!!! 

31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?

Yupsss. Dozens of times

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?

Whut is dat?

k I just searched it! Accroding to urbandicitonary.com

unrequited love

Loving someone who doesn't love you back.

Well I guess I have

33. Have you ever had sex with a man?

Nopes

34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?

How is that even done? I guess yes

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

Nopes

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?

Yes :<

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

So far no

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

Yes hehe

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

YEHESSSSSSSSS

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?

No

41. Have you had sex so far this year?

Nooo

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?

An hour?

43. How long was your longest relationship?

Two and a half years

44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?

Two

45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013?

Zero

46. How many times did you have sex last year?

Nada

47. How old are you?

Ninteen!

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

"I kinda feel the same way"

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?

unapplicable

50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

I love presents!

51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?

Parents :)

52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?

Yes because she was hopeless and frustrating to deal with.

53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

Nopes!

54. Is there someone you will never forget?

Family

55. Share a relationship story.

Rewind back to six years ago when I first met the cutest tan skinned boy in my life. He was a pretty boy, rich, charming and truly crush-able. And I did not expect to meet him but because of this friend and her brother, we met. It was pretty amazing how things went after that. We started communicating with each other which lead to going out to malls and stuff like that and we even wrote love letters to each other since we didn't go out that much since my father's strict with me that time since I was just thirteen.

And it was just amazing how we formed into M.U. through those love letters which I have kept still in my treasure box. And after a couple of months, he asked me to be his girlfriend and because obviously we had feelings for each other, I said yes because he was such an amazing guy. And I was extremely happy. He was there and I was there and we were pretty great. Yet some may consider this as puppy love but for us, maybe it was first true love. We were each other's firsts and it was going great until one day I've realized that I was being "unfair". Unfair in a way that we did not get to go out much and all that and I told him that it was unfair for him that him having a girlfriend yet he could not go out with me that much and it was like depriving him of boyfriend rights and I let him go. The sad thing there is that I loved him still yet he did not do anything to stop me or whatever. It was like he just let go too which was sad but I do not blame him. We were young and foolish like we did not exactly know what to do yet so we went out separate ways. We still communicated a little but not as much until things vanished into thin air. But still I like him. I imagine quite often how things would be if we were still together because he's with a girl right now and I kinda envy how they are right now. Happy, loving and just amazing. And I seriously envy that. Maybe if I did not think the things I thought about in the past and held my tongue and didn't say those things I said that night, maybe we would still be together. Happy.But well that's life. What's meant to be is going to happen and fate is already written. It's just for us to wait and just live our lives and await the next days to what's gonna happen in our lives.

56. State 8 facts about your body

1. Big round eyes
2. Cute small mouth
3. Naturally red cheeks
4. Kinda flat chested
5. Athletic abdominal area
6. Round firm buttocks
7. Flat footed

8. Fair skinned

57. Things you want to say to an ex

"Thank you for letting me go"

58. What are five ways to win your heart?

1. Thoughtfulness
2. Sweetness
3. Consistency
4. Never running out of conversations. Words
5. Truthfulness

59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)

Gotta remain anonymous hehe

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?

Two years

61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?

Face

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?

Strip-lap dance?

63. What is your definition of “having sex”?

Copulation

64. What is your definition of cheating?

Entertaining someone who likes you. Kissing someone else other than me, having sex & having another relationship other than the original true girlfriend/boyfriend.

65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?

Moaning and groaning and kissing me everywhere

66. What is your favourite roleplay?

Idk

67. What is your idea of the perfect date?

Great ambience, delicious food (it's a MUST!), continuous awesome conversations and spark!

68. What is your sexual orientation?

I think I am bisexual

69. What turns you off?

Rudeness

70. What turns you on?

Hotness

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?

Sex sex sex glorious sex

72. What words do you like to hear during sex?

Does moaning count?

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?
Just surprise me

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?

A gorgeous face

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

Take care of me when I got drunk and wasted and not take advantage

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?

Give them the best two years of their life

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?

Not too much gap cause that is definitely abnormal.

78. What’s your dirtiest secret?

Having sex with a girl

79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?

With my little brother just a couple of weeks ago 'cause he gets everything he wants. But what about meee???

80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

Yesterday!

81. Who are five people you find attractive?

1. Ian Somerhalder
2. Zac Efron
3. Reggie Boy
4. G Lava
5. Dave Franco

82. Who is the last person you hugged?

Mommy

83. Who was your first kiss with?

M

84. Why did your last relationship fail?

It was not working anymore

85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?

Eeeeks no? Depends if they are extraordinarily hot and gorgeous and good looking!

Moments

Moments when you just want to be someone else to please the people around you

Moments when you just want to vanish from the world to not further disappoint the people you care about

Moments when you just want to kill yourself for unintentionally hurting the people you love

Moments when you just can't change the bad in you despite how hard you pray for it

Moments when you just wish you're dead and know in your heart you'll burn in hell yet you don't care anymore

Moments when I just want to have never existed:

1. As if I make people happy

2. As if anyone would miss me

3. As if things would change of I'm gone

4. As if I'm important

5. As if I matter

6. As if someone would remember

If I hurt others 90% of the time, why still exist?

Better yet I just evaporate from this wonderful world rather than cause it's disruption. 

Wall Post: Con con con concentration

Wall Post: Absolute Comfort

Wall Post: I Used to Want This

Wall Post: Under-Appreciated

Wall Post: Maybe maybe

Wall Post: Save Yourself